i ain't alone heaux: i got this lil devil w/ me
-
i ain't alone but i feel outta reach
dread on my body, its dread in my speech
Sisyphus rollin, he stoned, it get steep
burning through time like contraband
i don’t be long here, i be w/ the creeps
Peter Pan stuck in that Neverland
its war in my head, on repeat
that boy look hurt like he homeless, he ain't fly
that boy he can't be awake if he ain't high
that boy he raw off another prescription
that boy got beef w/ the truth,
and his sane: it been leaking out-
you can hear it dripping
mama i am not innocent
i been a degenerate
i been barely living here
out of phase w/ the folks i love
i know i ain’t alone
but can’t pick up a phone
i keep it on DND, only whitelist my dealer
i’m knowing that i’m wrong
i don’t wanna be in public, i feel too exposed
i be wrangling the rage,
it been harder to control
i find it kinda hard to be here
i romanticize the end of my road
and i know it right, if the truth getting told:
cause it got you through life to see me alive
i been wasting the gift that she gave me
under gravity; entropy in my mind
to the chaos i turned to a slave
had a talk w/ combustion personified
he say we crafting armor from curses
“tiny spec” that evolved from a “filthy rag”:
make it feel like enduring it worthless
barely even here man, barely even eat
just graze like an animal, brood like a beast
right w/ the fangs, cut my tongue on my teeth
lil devil in my ear, ain’t been giving me peace
you stuck boy, never grown, ain’t nothing new
you ain’t even got the nuts to cut it lose
in a daze, just repeat it on a loop
any day now, your pain been costing youth
better move, ‘fore this life it run you through
fly or die, souljah boy, its on you
mama i’m sorry, yea
i ain’t live how you taught me, yea
been shamed of what i could not be
but i’m over shit, its only hurt what it brought me
i’m cosmic shook, but want the ceiling thats starry
tryna get booked, i bring the doom the party
and might need that hook, cause peter its getting gnarly
yea … this shit getting gnarly
Produced on the MPC1000, “Nosthaigia” documents time spent in Thailand via regional music. Available here in an exclusive color vinyl. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 24, 2024
UK rapper and composer Oscar reconnects with his youth on a sleek, diaristic LP influenced by ’90s hip-hop and '00s R&B. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 21, 2024
